HOPELESS BOOKS UNINC.: For your weekend reading pleasure: A FREE GIFT

Friday, November 1, 2013

For your weekend reading pleasure: A FREE GIFT

Dear Readers,

This Saturday, Nov. 2, 2013, through next Wednesday, Nov. 6, the original HOPELESS BOOKS release, GIRL DETECTIVES, is slated to be offered abso-lootleigh free of charge as an ebook through Amazon Kindle. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BUY A KINDLE DEVICE.*

http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Detectives-Ann-Sterzinger-ebook/dp/B00C7XF1WA/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1

That's right, free samples. Like we're a fucking Trader Joe's. It's come to this.

Tell your friends, hide it from your enemies, they don't deserve it... actually, no, they especially deserve it. Download it to your Kindle OR ANY COMPUTERLIKE DEVICE (if you're reading this, you can read that), and then drive back and forth in front of an enemy's house late at night, preferably on Sunday night if they work weekdays, reading GIRL DETECTIVES through a bullhorn. If you send me a postable video recording of yourself doing this I'll paypal you twenty bucks. But only if you tell me why you hate them so much.

Love,
Domina

PS Girl Detectives and the Talkative Corpse ARE ALWAYS FREE if you're the kind of shut-in who has Amazon Prime.

* THIS IS HOW YOU READ KINDLE BOOKS WITHOUT BUYING A KINDLE

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HOME OF SATIRE

If you have to live in the 21st century, then you might as well examine that disgusted feeling deep in your gut, because we're all going to die and that's the only fact. (Time and matter actually might be illusions, smartass.) All Ebooks and POD paperbacks, because I don't have any money. And look, you don't need to buy a special Kindle device. You can read ebooks on any computer. So if you can read this, you can read that. AND WE NOW HAVE PAPERBACKS. Have fun, worm food!

* THIS IS HOW TO READ KINDLE BOOKS WITHOUT BUYING A KINDLE DEVICE

Submissions

So you wrote a book, huh? And you can't get it published, eh? If you're nonetheless certain that it's brilliantly written (THOSE BASTARDS!) and you're willing to settle for the companionship of a wacky, rag-tag, suicidally reckless crew that can't even afford goddamned paper, you may well find a home for it here. (asterzingerzATgmail)

Hopeless Books is mainly interested in publishing fiction (by which I DO NOT mean your thinly veiled trust-fund baby autobiography where there's a funeral and some schoolboyish attempts to show how good you are at describing things, you fucks), but if you've written something nonfictional that's well-written AND hilarious, interesting, or controversial, please send it my way.

Genre fiction is welcome, including (I sup-pose) litfic. Who knows, someone might eventually write a good litfic novel. Monkeys, in a room, typewriters, etc.

There will probably be no Nobel prizes. Sorry.

HOPELESS BOOKS UNINC.

Friday, November 1, 2013

For your weekend reading pleasure: A FREE GIFT

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Submissions

INTRODUCTORY POST: WELCOME!

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